Sira ka Talaga! :)

anokaya

Usually I hate the feeling of missing someone, especially if you're not sure if they miss you back. Lol. 

But right now thoughts of him provide a much-needed respite from the other causes of stress in my life, and for that reason alone, I am content. 

I'd be a lot happier knowing that he misses me too though. We'll see...

Sigh, sigh, sigh. I just wish a resolution would be in sight soon! Despite the wonderful-ness of my life right now, worries about this issue plague me and haunt my every waking hour. But if I am to keep sane, I need to remind myself that this is but an aspect of my life. That yes it is a responsibility and yes I am going to fulfill it but that shouldn't stop me from living.

anokaya

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly a religious person. I don't get organized religion--I don't understand how mere mortals like us can give us sermons from the pulpit and claim to know God and His will better. I feel evil writing these words, as it *is* Easter Sunday and I *have* been brought up as a Christian--so it is a bit irreverent to say these things, especially on *this* particular day. But... I'd prefer to come clean and be honest about how I really feel.

I love God. I believe in Him and His existence. But I don't see the need to go through rituals/ceremonies just to prove it. I certainly don't like going through the motions just for obligation's sake. What's the point of doing something if it's insincere?

Anyhoo, this post was supposed to be a happy post about what I did in Holy Week, but I guess I got a bit distracted. Lol. I'm too tamad to write now, but basically, I thank God for:

a. Time spent with my mommy and my best friend Cams. They are the coolest!

b. Having the guts to finally swim in public! Lol. Hello swimsuit! 

c. Crepe Samurais. Yum-yum.

d. 4 days-3 nights stay at Hotel Intercon!

e. 5 games of lazer tag! 

etc etc. Am really sleepy now though, and missing someone. Sigh. Will block it off for now... Got some work to do...

anokaya

For the entirety of my debate career, I refused to participate in potentially humiliating yet fun activities. I have resisted demands/requests from our seniors to participate in public speaking; I have refused to dance during break night parties out of sheer embarrassment (I suck at dancing!)--except maybe during PMA NDC, when Joe and Yves unsuccessfully tried to teach me how to move along with the beat. I guess it was a fear of not being taken seriously enough once I put my debating hat back on. Or wala, nakakahiya lang talaga. Lol. And believe it or not, I can be a shy person. Especially when out of my comfort zone.

Which is whyyy-- I am happy I finally did something potentially embarrassing (at least based on my standards). I participated at PIDC's Rockeoke Challenge with Lee! Hahaha. In the past, I'd refuse to sing in Karaoke, even if it's with my closest debate/non-debate friends. Natatakot akong pumiyok. Lol. I'd do Rockeoke, but only with selected people and only if I know no one else in the audience. :p 

And sooo, it's a big deal for me that I at least tried singing in front of friends from the debate community. Dared to make a fool of myself. And yes-- maybe I sang out of tune sometimes, or nahuhuli ako sa music, or I couldn't really look at the audience (because I'm shy... hehe) BUT. I still did it. And I am proud of myself for doing so. (Oo na, mababaw na ako. But at least I had fun!)

Lee and I also got the much-coveted title: PIDC ROCKEOKE IDOLS. The first! And hopefully not the last! Although honestly, I think Yang and/or Jon-jon deserved the title more. Pero kebs. Salamat sa prize. Hahaha. 

Much thanks to Lee for agreeing to sing with me--wouldn't have gathered up the guts otherwise. And to the Lasallians who stayed 5 minutes longer just to hear me sing. Lol. 

Magjoin rin kaya ako ng public speaking?? ...

Asa. Haha. 

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Congrats to the PIDC organizing team-- it's only the first day, but I can tell you worked hard with your preparations and it is bearing fruit. Most memorable PIDC Opening Dinner I can remember so far... And my God, kudos to the adj core for coming up with an objective, transparent system for deciding adj allocations-- both for the bubble rounds and the breaks! Honestly, I think this is a much-needed departure from tradition and it's about time someone thought of it AND implemented it. I am not surprised these and other innovations were introduced at PIDC... in many ways, I think the PIDC team (orgcomm, adj core) seeks ways to improve both the way the tournament is run and Philippine debating in general. And I totally respect them for that.

Anyhoo. Nagpaulan na ako ng praises, natuwa kasi ako today. Haha I'm sure the same will be true for the coming days. Best of luck to the orgcom, the adj core, to debaters and of course, to my fellow adjudicators (kasama na ako duon). See you all tomorrow!  

anokaya

nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa. feeling ko hanggang friendship nalang ito. sigh.