Sira ka Talaga! :)

anokaya

Easyjournal was my go-to blog when I had thoughts I'd rather not share (with the rest of you, that is). Hehe. And now it's gone! All my entries dating back to my first-ever heartbreak in 2003--gone!! Hahaha. Oh well, maybe this is the universe's way of telling me to get rid of my old baggage... and start making room for new ones. :p Kidding!

Anyway, what I wanted to get off my chest is this: I recently found out that a guy I recently dated started dating another girl a week or two after we split (to my dear friends, this scenario may sound familiar. Karma, I know). I honestly don't care about the guy--I don't want to get back together with him after all. It's just a bad blow to my ego, is all. But this song reminded me exactly why we're no longer together--and listening to it made me feel immensely better. Just thought it might help some of you too:

Excerpts from "That Old Pair of Jeans" 

by Fat Boy Slim

All you used to do was put me down
But I found a way to pick myself up off the ground
And ah, all you used to do was criticise me
But now I found the good and I emphasise it, see

You would always get so sensitive
And try to turn your transgressions into my guiltiness
But now I'm certain of the way I live
And what I'm responsible for in this twisted game

And it's such a shame
That you try to make pain
Another word for my name
Whether giving or receiving
It's one and the same
Just one more link
In your long-ass chain
But it's time to break
This frame and my strengthful will
Time to jump off this negative cycle we've built
Gave my heart
But my self-respect you won't steal
Now it's time to let ya go if you can't hear or feel me go

Ha, ha ha, ha ha ha haaa, ha ha, ha ha ha
Ha, ha ha, ha ha ha haaa, ha ha, ha ha ha

So I asked my mamma for her two cents
And then I asked my little sister and I asked my friend
Then I asked my pappa once and I asked him again
Came to the consensus from all them opinions
That life is too short to be unhappy
And since I know what I'm worth there'll be no settling for dirt
Not when what I deserve is gold
If I want diamonds then I can't settle for coal and

Maybe I was just too strong to let go
Maybe I was just too weak to let it show
Maybe I was just too stubborn to say "No"
But whatever the case I can't take it no more

Ha, ha ha, ha ha ha haaa, ha ha, ha ha ha
Ha, ha ha, ha ha ha haaa, ha ha, ha ha ha

-------------

Girls, don't hold on to destructive relationships. No amount of rationalizing will make up for the fact that you're wasting precious moments of your life unhappy and drained of energy because you are WITH THE WRONG PERSON. That time is better spent focusing on yourself. Who knows, you just might come across someone who's worth the trouble.

anokaya

Last night, I found out that Rhea Libranda, a batchmate of mine from St. Paul just passed away.

I couldn't believe it at first--she's just too young. We're all too young--to be going to the funeral of someone our age. And I felt an overwhelming wave of sadness and disbelief, even though we were never really close. I can't imagine how her family must be feeling.

I just came from her wake, and I'm really, really, really, really sad. I'm sad for her, because she had her whole life ahead of her, a life that was abruptly taken away. I'm sad for her loved ones--especially her dad, who didn't get a chance to see her on her last days because he's working abroad. And for her boyfriend, who apparently had plans of marrying her. 

I just needed to get it off my chest. We were never really close, but I have to say--this wake has affected me a lot more than previous ones I've been to. Maybe it's also because I was reminded of my own mortality--that this could have happened to me or to anyone else in my batch. Someone I'm close to perhaps, or God forbid, a member of my own family. It could happen to anyone at anytime, which is a scary but necessary wake-up call for everyone to cherish each day that they are blessed with life.

To my friends, let's say a prayer for Rhea Libranda--a wonderful girl who unfortunately passed away too soon. Also, let's take all possible precautions against Dengue. It is a horrible, horrible sickness and it kills. Let's not allow it to take another one of us or our loved ones. 

Goodbye Rhea... We will miss you.

anokaya

This song, by Chuck Coleman, clearly illustrates how we let our dreams go once we enter the real world. And why we shouldn't:

CHUCK COLEMAN

"Brian Played Guitar"

Brian played guitar 
He wasn't very good 
That was his charm 
And he swore he'd be an indie god by 23 
Now he's 25 and living on long island 
And I called him up to finally do some catching up 
And that's when he said to me 
Listen carefully 
I was just a kid and 
Money makes the world spin 
And if they tell you different then they're lying or they're poor 
Good luck with your tour 
Lauren sang for us 
She didn't have a head voice but who does 
And her plans were set to be a Broadway triple threat 
Then she met some guy at Brown who turned her world upside down 
Now they're married with a kid 
I can barely believe it 
The other day she said to me 
Listen carefully 
I was just a kid and 
Family makes the world spin 
And if they tell you different then they're lying or they're gay 
Good luck in L.A. 
John does people's income tax 
Jesse works for Goldman Sachs 
David's at a desk all day doing what he can't quite say 
Half my friends will spend their lives bored as hell from 9 to 5 
If nothing comes from writing songs, that could be me in not too long 
Now I'm freakin' out 
I can't answer the phone I might find out 
That someone else I know is throwing in the towel too 
Minivans and Christmas trees are smiling smugly beckoning to me 
It's all that I can do to turn my glance away from you and tell the people that I knew 
To listen carefully 
Maybe you forgotten 
That music makes the world spin 
And if they tell you different then ignore the things they say 
Get up on stage and play!

anokaya

Visit this site: 

http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?k7dea8yh8ew

Feel free to skip to the end if you'd like, but if you want to "watch my mind" at work (as eloquently put by Martin), go to the site and just set it on "fast". 

Disclaimer: Can be potentially interpreted as emo-art, but honestly, just a product of boredom.

By the way, it's a great site for those who are bored. So click-click. :D

anokaya

Today, I joined Triaxion--a team sport with 3 legs: dodgeball, lazer tag and wall climbing.

Those who've known me for quite some time will know that (a) I am deathly afraid of getting hit by flying balls--hence my avoidance of PETEAMS during college and (b) that I am mortified of heights. So it might be strange that I even considered competing in dodgeball and wall climbing. But such is my love for lazer tag that I decided to risk it (no way in hell would I miss a lazer tag tournament!)

Anyway. 

Long story short... my team (composed of Me, Robert Totanes, Kuya John Tan, Vivi de Zuzuarregui, and Aimee, Melchor, JR and Kelvin of UNTV) made it to 4th place in Dodgeball. Our first loss was to Stripped Life, a team of really huuuuge foreigners who were out for blood! Our second loss was to the Jokers team, where one of them hit me with the ball smack dab in the middle of my face. Hmph. That smarted, haha. But I was a good sport about it and it definitely did decrease my fear of balls (the flying kind, sports, y'know). 

We got 3rd place in Lazer Tag. Originally our scores qualified us for second, but a really good team (composed of lazer xtreme's owners as well as game captains, lol) squarely beat us during the semifinals. All's well and good--we had fun naman. But Caloy's driving me crazy--he ALWAYS manages to hit me. Apparently he studied my patterns of movement na pala. Hmph. I'll get better. I promise. :p

And of course, wall climbing. My knees were literally shaking from fear, but my team mates (and even our other competitors) were egging me on! I stopped several times and asked them if I could go down, but they kept on cheering me and refusing to let go of the rope, lol. So I had no choice but to go up, and up, and up... and before I knew it, the top of the wall was within reach! I pulled whatever strength I had in me and went all the way to the top. Yey! Strangely, the height wasn't that scary--it was the exhaustion that almost got me giving up. Or maybe that was just because of the mixture of adrenaline and supportive cheers from down below. But I am definitely trying wall climbing again--in fact I set a tentative date next week with Kuya John. Those who are interested are free to join.

Really, really, really happy I conquered some of my biggest fears today (if only for today). Really looking forward to more adventures. Those with adventure ideas (like the walkathon idea of kuya john), kindly let me know and then we'll see if we can do it. Yeah!

anokaya

Initially, today was a very, very boring day. It was so boring that I spent a good part of it talking about or thinking about work, and was on the verge of going to the office (even if it's my first off-day for the week). It helps that I like my job, but still. 

So I set about looking for activities to cure me of boredom. I went online, checked out forums--was still bored. Got up, watched TV--was still bored. Eventually found my book Persepolis, was engrossed in the story, finished the book in one sitting--and then ended up bored right after.

It was crazy-making, I tell you.

I remembered this person that I've been meaning to contact for quite some time now though. She was a friend of mine from 5th grade--someone I used to play lazer tag and talk to about Play Station games with. We drifted apart after an inane fight one Halloween afternoon, and barely exchanged words until we graduated high school. Since lazer tag is my big thing nowadays, I thought it would be great if I could invite her to hang-out again, just like 5th grade.

So I fished her number out of our batch e-groups and gathered the guts to call her up--at work no less (since that was the only number available in the e-groups, lol). And it was great! Catching up, finding out how she's doing, and maybe even playing against her again at Lazer Tag.

That gave me a natural high. Doing something I've been putting off... getting in touch with a long lost friend.

And then--to top it off, I also stopped procrastinating and decided to color my hair already. I went to the salon, and voila, it is now a lighter hue. I think it looks good (and that's what matters).

Now, I'm off to dinner with Kuya Paolo. Maybe I can even convince him to go with me to Rockeoke! But whatever the case, I am just so, so happy that what started out as an excruciatingly boring day is now looking up to be one of my brighter ones. Hurray, hurray!!