Sira ka Talaga! :)

Yesterday, I went to a Spiritual Retreat--my first since I got out of college. Its theme was "living life to the full" and it was supposed to help us (retreat-goers) discover our true potential and help us find our passion in life. Exactly what a 22-year old undergoing quarterlife crisis needs.

So I went. And I meditated and reflected on the questions that were asked of us.

One such question was: what is your heart's deepest longing?

And my instinctive answer was: to find my identity.

I realized that since college ended, my identity has been anchored solely on my affiliation with friends and family. That aside from debate (which I'm slowly letting go of)-- I had nothing to be passionate or proud about. And that scared me.

Sure, I have a job. And it's a cool job with a cool boss, and I get to meet cool people and listen to their highly confidential conversations (no, I'm not telling)--but. I wasn't passionate about it. It drains the energy out of me.

While reflecting, I asked God to help me figure out what to do next. And he did, in so many ways.

He told me, through metaphors, through passages and through my loved ones' own words--that I should explore because there's something better waiting for me. That I shouldn't be afraid to venture into the unknown, for He will always be with me. And the feeling was sooooo powerful, that it brought me to tears more than once (!)

I told my mom about it today, and she fully supported my decision. She said: "I'd want nothing else than for you to wake up happy every day. Even if I wake up stressed." hehe. I can tell she's worried though-- this is a pretty stable job already, and she's wondering what I'll do next! And while I'm worried about it as well, I'm no longer scared I'm a bit excited actually. I think I know what I want now.

 

Tomorrow, I take care of loose ends. Finish up remaining reports, follow up on job-fair deliverables. Make, fax letters for potential web services clients (hehe)... My head is a lot clearer, my heart is a lot lighter, and while the work keeps on piling up--I think I'm taking a step towards the right direction and I couldn't be happier.  

 

 

 

Last week...

• I ate free Hotel Sofitel food courtesy of the Sakaya Fashion show (thanks to Monique, Mira and Monina of Van der Ryst events management for the invitation)
• I got to meet the Australian Ambassador and have a very lively chat with him. He even said we should meet after his trip to Thailand to talk about how we (NGO and maybe his embassy or his dancesport org) can work together.
• I got to meet other cool people: Bryan Untalasco (a professional jazz dancer, thespian, etc), his friend Menchu (blue screen media) and Argee Abadines (fellow dork with "lust for life"
• Helped someone get a job---and got a lot of freebies for doing so (this was for the Teledevelopment Jobs@Night Party. Heh. When I escorted my friend, Sir Jem and Ma'am Judy recognized me from the Ople Job Fair and gave me VIP treatment, mwaha)
• Bonded with debate friends--and saw Saguijo for the first time!!
  
• Saw old band friends (Normz Dellosa, formerly of Silent Sanctuary; Niche, my former boss at Altercation Online Magazine) and found out that Conrad of Boy Elroy still remembers the old days of #boo. Haha.
  
• Debated with a really cool team: Manilasaurus A. I was with the youngest doctor in the Philippines (Dr. Adrian Rabe) and the oldest debater in the tournament (Mr. Robin Lucas) hehehehe. We made it to the finals :D :D :D
• Received one of my favorite chocolate bars (snickers) without my asking. Yahoo!
• And went to a wonderful despedida party and conquered my fear of strangers. Hehe.

Not a bad week at all. A very great one, in fact. Hmm. May this week top the last! Hurray!