Entries for January, 2006

January 7th, 2006

1/14 down.


anokaya
1st week of classes done. :p

classes and teachers seem interesting. this term i only have 4 classes:
artcomp
genders
practicum
senior research paper (our equivalent of thesis)

of all 4, i'm most worried about the 4th. :x I haven't started my research yet, and I'm not even sure I can obtain the data I'll be needing.

I'm researching on the relationship between a senator's personal issue advocacy and it's relationship to the decision-making process behind the allocation of their individual pork barrel allocations. To do this, I'll need to know both the rejected and approved funding requests to these senators.  

2 problems:
1. pork barrel is a touchy issue for most senators. i doubt they'd let me even take a peek at their previous records, particularly requests.
2. alskdjfldksjfggh even if they did allow me to, i would have no way of knowing if the requests they'd shown me is complete.  

the good news is i already found the data i'll be needing from one former senator. and it was fun looking through their office's files. lotsa letters. now i have a template to copy if i should ever need to ask :D hehe. jk.

the bad news is it's not complete :x alksdjfgh. 5 weeks till submission of first draft and i don't even know if my research is feasible. so help me God.

=+=+=+=+=+=

Priorities for 1st Term 2005:
1. STUDIES - must pass ALL subjects.
2. Debate - must not let team down.
3. Health & Well-being - yeah. this can wait 'til summer :p

Currently reading: Wally Lamb's I know This Much is True
Currently watching: etc passively
Currently feeling: surprisingly upbeat
Posted by anokaya at 01:51 AM | 3 boinkz!

January 11th, 2006

Just another "dear diary" moment


anokaya
I know I will seem incredibly shallow and pathetic to you guys after this post.

But damn, I can't help it. It's my nature. 

i AM incredibly shallow and pathetic. ( which i hope adds to my charm :x )

hence... be forewarned.

Now to gush: My name's on BBC.CO.UK! *beam* 

purely by circumstance, but whatever.  

I was interviewed months back while I was toiling happily for Gawad Kalinga.

and while my picture didn't make it (i'm not that photogenic anyway, nor newsworthy in the first place)

and while I'm sure not a lot of people will ever read it (which is great 'coz I said nothing of substance),

I am still a happy little girl.

+=+=+=+=+=+

for those who want to scoff at my silliness, and/or would like to read the two measly sentences with my name on it, go hop on to: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4503048.stm !
Currently feeling: silly like a dizzy daisy
Posted by anokaya at 03:35 AM | 5 boinkz!

January 14th, 2006

Lucky Friday the 13th


anokaya
Contradicting superstition, yesterday (friday the 13th) was one of the happiest, luckiest days I've had in recent memory
  
* Research proposal was approved without a hitch. I can now go on to data-gathering, yey! 
* I bought a royal purple, satin bolero for an amazing FIVE PESOS at a paranaque ukay-ukay.
* The sky was beautiful: the stars were out twinkling and the moon was so big it reminded me of fairytales.
* The great company at Kim's was priceless. Cams, Nico, Ice, Gabby, Carrie, Kim, BJ, Rachelle, and some of Kim's friends Bong, Jaja, Lia, etc = F-U-N. Among the topics discussed? Religion, faith, miracles. Morality. Love & Attraction (from the male and female perspective). Clinical Psych (?!?!). FOOD. Democracy (which the other table laughed at. hee). Ampalaya and Melon. Mangosteen. Pedicab. and the list goes on. One of the craziest, funniest, wackiest and most interesting conversations I've ever had with a group of people. Fun-fun-fun.
* Writing Palanca letters. I hope the guys appreciate it, I really put effort into that.
* And of course, text messages from *hmm* spiced it up.
 
I got home at past 3 a.m. Didn't have the heart to tell Ted to come to work early for my training. :x Will just have to face Brian's wrath this afternoon. *erk* Nah, he's very understanding. I hope he'll continue to be, as this is my umpteenth time to be more than 2 hours late for training :x (i'm not proud of it).
  
Tonight, dinner at Sofie's. E-X-C-I-T-E-D. 
 
Currently feeling: lazily ecstatic
Posted by anokaya at 05:28 AM | 1 boinkz!

January 22nd, 2006

Remembering the dead


anokaya
Today, I visited 3 loved ones who have passed away: my two beloved grandfathers, Lolo and Tatang, and one of my kindest uncles, Tito Art. Looking at their graves and the graves of strangers surrounding them, I felt guilt and worry. Guilt--for forgetting them too often. Worry--that someday I too will be forgotten.
 
 
For Lolo Blas, Tatang, and Tito Art: I'm sorry. Sorry for the things left unsaid, for taking you all for granted when you were still alive. Sorry for feeling like Undas is a chore--for skipping Sunday visits whenever I can. Sorry if my memories of you dim year after year. You all have been a significant part of my life--I don't want to forget. I love you all, and miss you very much. :`(
 
To help aid my memory (this will not make sense to anyone but myself. don't bother reading):
 
Lolo - Sunday lunches, Kamayan, Saisaki. Fuji. Forced headbanging at my 16th birthday. Writing with fountainpens. Books--lots and lots of them. Spraynet and comb, even without hair. Coffee and cigarettes, newspapers in the morning. Green carpet and bouncing on your bed at Corinthians. Your love for Consul. Your shiny forhead. How your palms always felt so soft. Your impish smile. The peculiar "hilamos" gesture, as if wiping the previous expression off your face. Our pictures taped on your office wall... I miss you so much :`( Space is not enough.
 
Tatang - pepsi cans as lampshades--always recycle. khaki shorts and colared, striped shirts. eyebags, and hedgehog like white hair with a jay-leno gray stripe in the middle. calculators and dim lights. that scary rocking chair. grave is in between panganiban and dela cruz--don't you forget! 
 
Tito Art - golf and videoke. bicol and hermit crabs. lolo akong. mama peps. afternoons at forestry with tita aire, ann and banana cue. project 6, t.v. quietly friendly. gentle smile. and for some weird reason, he-man.
 
I've forgotten so many things already. I hope I won't forget much more. and I hope this renews my commitment to visit every so often. As well as to cherish and give special importance to all of my loved ones for as long as I live.
 
**an invitation to everyone: Please visit the Libingan ng mga Bayani. Pick a random grave, one that looks forgotten. Pay your respects: offer a prayer, leave a rose. Most of them gave their lives in service of our country--they deserve no less.
 
**a reminder: please don't forget to visit your own loved ones from time to time too. one of my grandfather's graves was so unkept, grass already covered his tombstone. make sure it doesn't happen to you. 
 
 
 
 

 
Currently reading: wally lamb's I know This Much is True
Currently feeling: sad but happy
Posted by anokaya at 03:18 PM as a favorite post | 3 boinkz!

January 25th, 2006

A letter to a former enemy


anokaya
Two years ago, I hated you. I hated you because I thought you stole him from me. Because I was envious of what I was sure would last forever, and I regretted ever letting it go.
 
And I wish that I hate and envy you still. That way, only one heart (mine) would have been broken. A heart that has already healed. 
 
Much as I hated you then, I hate him now. and I hate it even more that you're suffering, just like I did two years ago. 
 
I wish you nothing but happiness, now. and I wish, now more than ever, that we were friends. That I had treated you with more respect back then. We could've been time-crisis buddies. Gig-geeks. But I guess the last thing you need is more reminders of what was.
 
I don't know exactly what happened. But I know enough from my own experience that I'm on your side.
 
One day, kakarmahin din yan. Promise.
 
Wishing you all the best,
of happiness and better men to come: 
your former enemy. 
 
 
Posted by anokaya at 05:14 AM | 2 boinkz!
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