Sira ka Talaga! :)

anokaya

a guy friend of mine has been asking my opinion about this girl that he likes.

he recounts their conversations, down to the most minute of details: if she smiled when she said it, what her exact words were.

he's asking my opinion on whether or not he has a chance, so to speak.

my advice? just tell her. but be smooth about it. pick the right timing. if she likes you back, it will be all worth it. if she doesn't, it's her loss.

I've got to tell you though. I am extremely happy to find-out that guys too have a tendency to over-analyze. Hooray I am not alone in the agonizing theorizing while tossing-and-turning-and-therefore-cant-sleep-ing. (sorry for the grammar & the made-up English. I know I suck at it anyway, so there's no use hiding it.)

+ + + + + 

Damn. At times like these, I wish I was born a guy.

Courting seems a whole lot easier than waiting to be courted. And while you don't get the chocolates and flowers in the end, it does sound every bit as fun. At least you're in control, and you can get as wacky as you want (being overtly wacky might cost you the guy/girl in the end though).

[sidenote: i was supposed to list down the ways i plan to "woo" guys i like, but i seem to have run out of fresh ideas. that and some might steal them without paying royalties will do that some other time]

+ + + + + 

If the feminist movement succeeds in making dating and courtship more gender-equal, then I'm all for feminism. *bow* 

+ + + + +

I am a pathetic loser. Shoot me now. 

anokaya

I feel like I am generally improving. But only if my standard for comparison is myself.

My personal development will be worthless, at least in the competition, if most of my opponents will surpass me (which is likely). 

But this is the best that I can do. For now. I'll have to be satisfied and wish (and pray) for more in two weeks time.

AGH!!

So help me God.  

anokaya

sometimes i just hate myself. this is one of those times.

i hate my penchant for mini-obssessions. i hate my paranoia. 

i hate my lack of will-power and self-control.

i hate the way i don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

i hate my silly fears and how they paralyze me.

i hate my nagging need for constant attention and appreciation.

but the thing I hate the most--i hate hating myself.

and i just hope that this bout of self-loathing will soon be over.

God knows I have better things to worry about than this.

anokaya

Triumph: I lost weight during the tournament!

Disappointment: I gained it all back (and more) in just 3-4 days time, thanks to pizza, donuts, pasta...

Triumph: I made it into the top 10 best speakers in a national tournament! It was an elusive dream, one I thought I'd never be able to reach (at least this year). I was hanging on by a thread though, sharing 9th spot with Chars, but still! 

Disappointment: My 2nd worst nightmare came true--I didn't make it past Octos. My only consolation? It was justified, and it wasn't for a lack of trying. Hindi lang tlga bumenta extension ko, hehe. That, and at least my friends from San Beda advanced. They really did deserve to.

Above triumphs and disappointments, rounds lost and won, friends both new and old will always matter more (cheesy). That's one thing you can't complain about, every time a national tourney comes around--the people, the company, memories shared. Aids belting out Aegis, Yves and Kae singing transformed-debate-songs. Josh the politician/jukebox! Seeing a "guy" (you know who you are, belated-birthdayboy) have a kilig attack. Robin's patient explanations of the in-and-outs of his complicated but brilliant extensions Miya's "dontcha" and Arianne's Math-Dance. Joel and Luigi's "animo" innovation--i hope it carries over to other tournaments. The Taft Alliance lives! John Reilly's sometimes-mesmerizing-sometimes-scary blue eyes. Nico and DS's huggable-hugs. Lennex and UPTac, secrets shared *shh*. St. Paul Dumaguete and the Automatic Tubig Machine (ATM)... and much much more.

If only I can condense the NDC experience into one paragraph. If only I can upload all mental snapshots so I can accurately relay how much fun it was, even with the heartache/s. If only I could, maybe more people would understand why I love debating so much. And maybe it would be substantially easier to recruit new kids with spunk.

To the Lasallian Contingent, especially to my partner Victor and to my pretty room mates: thank you firstly for putting up with me. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around, especially when I have moodswing attacks/bouts of lethargy. But my endless gratitude to you guys for a wonderful week and for an awesome 2-3 years. my life wouldn't be as exciting nor as fun without each and every one of you (and i know this through experience). i hope we have many more tournaments and days of training and bonding to come. yebah! hehehe.