Sira ka Talaga! :)

just got back home. feels good, but awkward. somehow, something seems amiss.

i miss the people at MMU worlds.

i miss maju curry house in the mornings.

i miss the mystery of it all. adventures in every corner.

i miss worrying about nothing else aside from debating and crossing the street.

*sigh*. but then, there are things from home that i'm glad to see again.

like 24hours use of internet. like my dogs. like my Mom and spending lazy afternoons and evenings with her, just watching FRIENDS re-runs or fake dvds.

things just had to come to an end. not all though

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made some new friends, got to re-know some old ones. got to bond with other Filipinos from other institutions.

over-all, I think, that's what I bring home from the Worlds. New learnings , new experiences and new acquaintances & friends.

spent a day with joey and the rest of the lasalle contingent. found out he's not as serious as he initially seemed. he sings (and has a great collection of songs), dances, and watches tearjerking movies. hehehe. he's quite adventurous with food too... he ordered deer meat and frogmeat for us during dinner... and has eaten balut, fried grasshopper, sisig (what he refers to as chopped up pig's face hehe), among other things. quite an interesting fellow.

jojo. of course, we've been friends well before worlds, but I think the whole experience brought us closer. one of the most memorable things about worlds was the awkward night that was the traffic light night, and chit-chatting with jojo back at the hotel afterwards. eating cup noodles and seafood-mami, drinking tea and coffee, kidding around. wee. its rare that I feel as comfortable as I am when I'm with jojo. maybe its just because he's really quirky, and doesnt mind silence at times. ewan.

sushil. yehhh. he might read my blog since i gave him the link. so i'll just save all the good stuff for his future testimonial (when he gets friendster). suffice it to say that i find this guy a great conversationalist, a rare find, even amongst debaters.

there were a lot more ppl who had an impact, of course. but joey, jojo and sushil gave worlds a new meaning beyond debating.

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talking about worlds, here are the updates.

DLSU-B (me and Santino) broke 13th in the ESL quarterfinals. we unfortunately got eliminated, hehe.

Other Philippine teams in the quarterfinals were ADMU-C, MANILA-A (Top breaking! Wa-hoo!!!), MANILA-B (UPM nga pala 'to, hear,hear!) and UPD-C (Ben and Jackie)! UPD-C and ADMU-C reached up to semis but were unfortunately taken aback by the weird motion. UKM-A won ESL.

Best ESL speaker was Mark Lim (yahoo!). 5th Best was Nico Cabrera (CONGRATS!!! *hugz*).

3 Philippine Teams broke into EFL. UPD B (Nico & Mark), UPD A (Carl & Sir) both made it to Quarters, a feat in itself (congrats guys) while ADMU-A made it to Semis, the first Philippine team, from my recollection, to do so. They did an excellent job at quarters... I'm sure they got a 3 that round.

2 Atenean adjes broke for ESL. DLSU's Terry de Guia broke for Public Speaking adjudication.

Worlds 2007 will be held at Canada.

Thats about it... I'm proud of how Philippine teams did. And I'm glad that, for once, our own petty rivalries didn't stop us from supporting one another during those crucial moments

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I just saw my grades. I was a grade away from getting back into the dean's list, darn! If only Sir Torres didn't give me a 1.0 (which is the passing mark) I would have made it. I flat out don't think I deserve that low a grade.

*groan*

I guess I'll just have to work harder this sem, if that's possible.

For now, I'll have to go back to the real world. Enroll tomorrow, meet my teachers, go to the batcave, finalize things for Nash. Yeeikes. Bring on the stress.

Bye, my mom's calling.

I'm dreaming way too much again.

Spent a large chunk of my day just imagining how things would be like if somehow, I was with him. If somehow, we were closer. together, maybe.

Kept on re-winding past conversations, replaying in my head even the slightest touch, and how it felt.

Looking for gifts for him (bday, xmas, & miscellaneous holidays hehe), months in advance, and thinking of how I'd surprise him.

Blech.

I've got to cure myself from these episodes of extreme infatuation.

It's okay if it's reciprocated, but I unfortunately I think it's only me who's dreaming. Hehe. Grrrrrr. The story of the year

And while I blog and rant about these things, I find myself secretly hoping, wishing for something, anything good, to happen. hehehe.

*sigh* dreams. if only you could live them.

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I was too slow-moving to get to enroll on time. Met up with Asha and ND instead. Ate at harborview restaurant... overlooking Manila Bay. EXPENSIVE. I wasn't too pleased. Tuna sisig isn't as good as the real thing.

Lots of cheap finds near the bay area. My favorites? a P100 brickgame with different game-cartridges, a P20 flute that works, beautiful seashells for under a 100, necklaces for P10, P20, P35!

The company was priceless though. I love you Asha & ND.

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oceans12 movie date with my mom in a little while. will have to watch that movie again, since I also want to see it with jojo & other debate friends. hehehe. It doesn't matter. Oceans 11 (both the original one with Frank Sinatra & the newer version with brad pitt) was so great I watched it more than 3x. This one should be as good, if not better.

And even if, I'd love to go just to take my mind off silly things. Like that silly boy.

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Still working out my new year resolutions. Any suggestions? (hehe as if i'll keep 'em) Toodles!

read this. makes your heart melt, wahhh... perfect for the state i am in right now:

On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning by Haruki Murakami

http://www.geocities.jp/yoshio_osakabe/Haruki/Books/100percent.html

thanks to Martin for the link *hugzies*

i have to admit, i haven't been feeling my best lately. physically, emotionally, and to some extent, mentally. hehe

physically, i haven't been getting enough sleep. migraines have been plaguing me, and i've been binge-eating (for what reason I don't really know)

emotionally, i just feel like i'm on a roller coaster. there are times when i feel totally neutral and apathetic, although there's still a hint of wariness and insecurity. the place i've called my home and 2nd family for 2 years is now a place i don't really feel too comfortable in. certain people seem kind of off, at least in my eyes. i feel like some are judging me, some are conspiring against me, some just simply dislike me and are talking about me behind my back. it just might be another bad case of a recurring paranoia, but... argh. instinct tells me there's something wrong. or maybe its all in my head. i don't know. i've got to do something about it. talk to someone (but i dont know who i can trust, and i can count on to understand my situation at the same time) perhaps. unload. take a break. but taking a break is not an option this time.

mentally, i think, i'm also not doing so well. mentally both in intellectual terms, as well as in uhm... mental health. hehe. i dont know how you differentiate the two.

my brain's been moving much slower. sometimes i actually feel stupid when talking to people, particularly people in the debate community, or people in class, or my professors.

i feel that my worldview is too simplistic and naive. that my vocabulary isn't too wide enough, that i'm just not as well-read as the others. part of me wants to push myself harder, to overcome my self-imposed limitations, to prove to myself that I can be more than a lazy-perky-girl who loves colorful-twirly skirts and stars.

a part of me just wants to give up, and do things that are easier. within my current capacities.

maybe i just need a vacation.

sadly, in Lasalle, you don't get a lot of those. More so if you're a part of the debate society. Any debate society, for that matter.

on mental health, i go back to paranoia. insecurity. emotional instability. i know i'm up for a downswing. i've been happy and lucky for most of last year. here comes life's lows. :| i hate it, but i know i can weather it out.

just how, i honestly can't say. hmmm.

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tomorrow's highlight, will be watching a movie with jojo (and maybe jonathan, and hopefully some other lasallians). I terribly need to unwind. Good thing training has been postponed for next week. *sigh*

have a paper to work on. i'm not even done with the first paragraph. tsk-tsk. 'till later. hopefully i'm in a better mood by then.

after binge-eating for a couple of days, my tummy just can't take any more. hehehe. now i don't crave for anything. in fact, just the thought of food makes me sick. :/

weird.

it seems i have a funny eating disorder. travelling from two poles of extremes.

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i'm having trouble getting to class lately. somehow, even if i wake up at the right time, i just can't seem to either a) pull myself out of bed, b) take a bath on time, or c) choose an outfit on time. yes, i do take an hour or maybe more to take a bath (its an extremely relaxing experience and i like savoring it), and yes, i do take my time determining what to wear, even if it looks as if i didn't.

maybe it's something psychological. maybe i really don't want to go to class, so i find all these reasons to cause delay. i don't know, i really don't. let's just hope i dont exceed allowable absences/tardiness and win myself another semester (or worse, another year) in college. (although that will come with its benefits... hehehe)

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nash preparations are doing ok. the paperwork is just crazy though. i hate bureaucratic processes and standard operating procedures and formats and conventionalities. bleh. but sometimes, you just have to conform... or get your ass whipped.

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spent a wonderful monday evening with Asha, walking through Chinatown and then eventually reaching Divisoria. Spent a chunk of my allowance buying stuff I don't need. Figured I'd sell it for a higher price. hehehe. I'm certainly not going to sell stuff being blunt and impatient as I am right now.

maybe this is good for character building. hehehe. i feel like garfield right now, i don't know why. rawr. i want to go back to my cot.

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my cousin's (tabulas' lamiavita) sick with dengue. she's in the hospital. please pray for her. i love her with all my heart (cliche as it might sound). she's almost an extension of who I am, in fact, I think I derived most of my quirks from her. hehehe. Please pray for her... so that she might leave the confines of that dull ward a.s.a.p and watch basketball games (more specifically basketball hunks hehe) with me and her friend jamie. wahh. *hugzie* cousin.

my grandfather's brother is also in the hospital. lolo beni, sweet lolo beni. they say he's on life support already. please include him in your prayers as well.

wahhh.